Adoption reflections

I am really excited about being a mom. I'm so excited to love on this little person wholeheartedly. I love that my life will be centered around Josh and Katelyn, Brandon & Ashley, church and kids in our community. That's the right place for me to be. God has been so faithful to giving me great opportunities...for weaving everything together in just the right time. Adoption was not the way I originally thought we'd grow our familiy, but now, looking back at Josh and my different life experiences and the way this has all come together, I can't imagine our first child coming to us in any other way. Even though I'm not the one who carried this child in my womb, there is no way I could love her any more than I already do.

The thing that is overwhelming is that in order for us to be given the greatest gift we could ever imagine, someone else has to experience great loss. I continue to pray for this woman, or this couple who have had to give up their child due to their countries laws (one-child policy) or China's cultural stigma about unwed mothers. If our baby were born in a different time and place it may be that she would stay with her birth mother. That is a bit hard to swallow...that in an ideal world there wouldn't be children in orphanages. So because of the brokenness of our world, we are given a child. That makes me that much more determined to love fully, invest much, thank God daily, cherish the time we have with Katelyn...because she is not ours, but is being entrusted to our care. Wow, that's humbling.

One thing that's pretty cool is that I feel like so many people around us have a vested interest in all of this. People ask all the time if we've heard anything (not really)...how's the adoption coming along (waiting, waiting)....when will we get a referral (early December or early January) when do we get to bring the baby home (2 months after referral)....how old will she be(most likely 7-10 months at referral and 9-12 months when we travel)...... It's taken so long, but there are many who have trudged through it all with us. That really has been a gift. So now y'all have to be as excited to help love her, teach her things (good things), babysit. :)

The other thing that's REALLY cool is that we get to spend 2 weeks in China. I have such a bug to go somewhere new and this is really getting me pumped up. a few days in Beijing (in the north), a few days in Guangzhou (in the south) and 4-5 days in the province that Katelyn is from (which is most likely somewhere in between Beijing and Guangzhou). This will be Josh's first time out of the country and I'm super excited to share it with him for such a great occasion as to bring our baby home.

We only have 2 1/2 - 3 1/2 months until we see her face...like 60-90 days. Isn't that crazy??? This might all actually be real after all. WHOO HOO!!! Bring it! (Please, because I can't stand to read any more books about adoption, China or parenting...although I just got the Super Baby Food book and I'm excited about that....the food processor is ready to go!!!)

Not Lazy Daisy yellow, but Lush Meadow green instead

So I picked out the bedding and colors for the nursery two years ago when we started the adoption and it's all sitting in piles in corners and the walls are still eggshell white. So I made the executive decision to change the room color from yellow to green so that I'd have one new thing to look forward to that is a new decision and not something that was planned two years ago. Yeah, I've lost my mind!

So here's a sample of what the colors will look like together (thanks to the Valspar paint website).

Doesn't sound big...but it is...31 more days until us!

So China just referred 4 days worth of people. They are done referring up to families logged in on 11/25/05. The four days that they just did were huge days and represent hundreds of families. So that was the final hurdle for the huge October and November numbers. They should be able to get 10-12 days done next month which will take us up through the first week of December. I think that we will be right on the line for an early December referral still...with the possibility of an early January referral. I'm telling myself that Katelyn will be the greatest way to start the new year just so I'm not disappointed if we don't get our referral in December. (But who's kidding who? We'd still be disappointed not to know who she is and have a picture before Christmas.)

So the reality that we only have 3-4 months FOR REAL has sunk in and I'm getting a bit panicy! I have this overwhelming desire to take everything out of every closet and cabinet and clean. I have been working on painting our bedroom all weekend and I should have that done today. We still have to paint the nursery and all of downstairs so I have a lot more to go. I'm nesting and Josh is just quietly trying to stay out of my way so he doesn't get put to work. I've already dropped the hint that the garage needs to be cleaned out.... :)