Who's gonna pick that up??

Before I even start this post, I need to let you know that I HATE LITTER!!! I just think it's so unnecessary....

So last week I was driving around the neighborhood around the church for various reasons. The first time I was behind an ice cream truck of all things. The girl driving had her window rolled down, cigarette in hand and all of a sudden, she hucks a plastic water bottle out the passenger side window. I mean it takes all that I have not to get "Tawanda" with her and start honking as I ram her from behind. So just so you know...ice cream drivers in the hood are not a good example for our kids. The next day I'm driving by this group of boys that are walking down the street and one of them finishes his drink and throws the empty bottle down on the sidewalk....oh, so I'm fired up by this point...

Why is it that people have such disregard for their neighborhood that they throw their trash on the ground? I mean who do they think is going to pick that up??? The thing that really gets me going is that both of these events that I witnessed were in low income areas. Just one more indication that our kids don't have any pride in where they live. They don't own it. They don't understand that they could make it a better place. I'm going to have to think about what that means to me as a children's pastor. I want our kids to see this community as THEIR community. If they aren't being taught that at home...then I think church would be a good place to start....

So for all those reading this....if I see you throw your trash on the ground I'm going to go postal...I think it might be my biggest pet peeve....followed of course by people who start writing a check after they've waited in line forever and the cashier is all done ringing up their order....I'll save that for another post...

Slow and steady...

Referrals just came out from China for this month and they got through another week...so they have referred through 11/21/05....There are only 35 days worth of people ahead of us now!!!! I'm seeing the light. I'm actually letting myself get a little excited. I'm believing we'll get an early December referral. Only four more months. We can do it. Even Josh was looking at the pictures on other people's blogs who just got a referral. He's been angry about this whole wait....But once we get the picture and know that a child is ours, the anger will quickly turn to joy and excitement. I might actually think about starting to paint the nursery. Thank God we didn't get it all decorated when we started all of this two years ago. I know I couldn't have walked past it everyday. Soon it will be Lazy Daisy Yellow....

Elephants

An elephant has a 22 month gestation period...the longest of any mammal. I can relate to the woes of these mamas. I think I've about got the elephants beat.

Only 43 days worth of people in front of us

Well referrals came out from the China Center of Adoption Affairs and they have referred babies for people logged in from Nov. 8-14th, 2005. We are 12/27/05...so we are getting closer now. I feel confident in saying that we should have a referral sometime before the end of the year. We're in the home stretch...rounding the bend. It's only been 18 1/2 months. I'm not sure why I would be getting referrals. Our agency got 8 referrals in the last batch and the babies were 6-16 months old.

That's all we know for now. Fortunately, it does look like we will travel before we have to renew our paperwork again. We've already done that once and once was enough!

The wait is so long, we got a puppy

I swore I wouldn't cave. I swore we wouldn't get a dog. Josh has wanted one so bad. Yesterday was a BEAUTIFUL day...73 degrees, no humidity. (See the list of my favorite things to the right). I let my guard down....I fell in love with a 4 1/2 month old golden retriever.

We brought him home this morning and named him Brody. He is so cute and has the best little temperment. He really doesn't bark. He's pretty calm. He already knows some tricks and has only used the bathroom outside (knock on wood.)

We took a picnic dinner out to the park tonight and after we ate we took Brody into the dog run area. This is a great park and he was able to run and play with other dogs. So now he's really tired and is knocked out on the floor.

I think we found a great dog! This adoption need to be completed soon. We keep adding pets...we already had two cats...

By the way....18 months down...

There's a Veggie Tales song called "Where is my Hairbrush?" (Yeah, some of you know it and are now singing it in your head. Hee hee.) My song is "Where is my baby?"

On Wednesday we hit the 18 month mark. (SO much for the 6-7 month wait we originally expected...we've now TRIPLED that.) I feel pretty confident that we'll get a referral in 4-5 months. I think we might be on the home stretch. (For real this time.) Not looking great for being home by Christmas though. (We won't travel until 6-8 weeks after referral and then we'll be in China for 2 weeks.) SO LAME!!!!! (Just had to share.)

Being a Step Parent

So many parents say that they wish their child came with an instruction manual. Multiply that thought by ten and that's being a step parent. As a woman, it just isn't natural to have children in and out of your home that you desire to just love on unconditionally, but who come with lots of conditions. You're always aware of the fact that you aren't their mom and when it comes down to being really scared or hurt....they don't want me, they want their mom. No one prepares a woman for that when she marries a man with children. You somehow have to figureout what the rules are...and they are constantly changing. Love them like they're your own...until that's threatening to their mother. Discipline them like they need...except they'll have totally different rules 90% of the time. Help pay to raise them...but have no say in what happens medically, educationally, with child care, with extra-curricular activities. Figure out how to bring your own children into the mix and try with all you've got to make your step-children feel loved and welcome and not like they are less than. On a good day it looks like a family that takes all the parts and blends them together and it works. On a bad day it involves a whole lot of self doubt, anger, tears, a strained marriage, and a weary spirit. As the kids get older, it seems to get a bit more complicated. They have more questions. They are able to put more of the pieces together. They are more unsure of themselves and their place (isn't that ironic??)

BUT...today was one of the good days. One of the days where I'm sure of my role. I'm okay with what it is. I get to be that extra adult that just makes their lives richer. Last weekend was Ashley's 10th birthday (Where have the last 7 years gone?) This is our weekend with the kids so it's been Ashley's weekend. She and Brandon spent the night at Nanny Mona's (Josh's mom) last night. They got to stay up late eating popcorn and carrying on. She took them to the library this morning and then I met up with them and we all went out to lunch and to Build a Bear Workshop in the mall (thanks Grandpa Gary and Grandma Linda). Brandon still had some of his birthday money so they both got to partake in the activities. They had a blast!!! We came home and went right over to the YMCA to go swimming. We came back to the house and I put the cake in the oven and started on dinner. Josh came home from work and we had a nice cookout and Ashley opened her presents from us. I got BIG points for getting the new Hannah Montana CD for her that was just released this week...yeah, I'm cool....We had cake and ice cream and listened to the above mentioned CD. Josh even showed Ash a couple of his dance moves. (I think he actually likes the CD...shhh, don't tell him I told you.)

So now the kids are all tucked in. The end of a great day. After I finished decorating Ashley's cake she looked at me and said, "Thank you, Melissa." That was really all I needed. I'm glad I get to be in her life.

Happy double digits Ashley!